Sleeper Awakened

WITHOUT FILM, SOMETHING SLEEPS INSIDE US AND SELDOM AWAKENS. THE SLEEPER MUST AWAKEN.

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UNCHARTED (2022)

May 19, 2022 by Jacob Nelson in 2022, 4, ACTION, U

5/12/22 - Uncharted (2022) - 4+/5-/10

National Treasure by way of Fast and the Furious, videotaped over a copy of Indiana Jones and Goonies. Is it dumb? Simpler than a block of cheese. But it is better than one might have anticipated, in that it mostly understands what it is, plays into it, and embraces its stupid fun. I expected a cinematic crime - with its quality inversely related to its massive success - but I only found myself hanging from the wreckage of a ridiculous but inoffensive nonsense treasure ship.

I have never played a second of Uncharted, but have to assume this is following some semblance of the characters and the story. They certainly try to embrace the videogame aesthetic and I think even encounter the voice actor from the game. Much like such a game, the characters can do whatever is necessary. Holland’s Nathan Drake is a tragic orphan, an encyclopedia of ancient treasure knowledge, a semi-master thief, a top notch problem solver, parquort expert, and Cocktail extra. At least my threshold was minimal and was aided by Wahlberg’s salty meathead dickbag mentor, which he played to admirably. He’s a dumb-jock Danny Pond (not Ocean), but they sprinkle in enough humor to keep him lively.

It’s silly and bombastic, but it rides its stupidity like a sled down a DaVinci Code bunny slope to a goofy smirk. Not good, but it also wasn’t atrocious.

May 19, 2022 /Jacob Nelson /Source
Ruben Fleischer, Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Antonio Banderas, Sophia Ali, Tat Gabrielle, Pilou Asbæk
2022, 4, ACTION, U
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